MY WRITING IS AT A CROSSROADS — AND I DON’T KNOW WHICH WAY TO GO

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There are times when I feel lead to go in a certain direction, and other times, I’m shown two paths and told to choose which one to walk.

I’m standing at such a crossroads now with my writing career and I’ve been here for a while, contemplating the two paths before me. It’s time I share my thoughts openly.

Path One: The Disability Advocate

Since 2019, I have worked with the Centre for Equitable Library Access [CELA] as an accessibility tester. Whenever there are issues or questions regarding the accessibility of their website for someone with a visual impairment or a screenreader user, I’m on the team to test it, assess its functionality and report my findings and experience. I also consult on the team with eBound Canada to offer feedback and recommendations on their pilot project of producing graphic novels in alternative formats.

Both projects are important to me because it allows my experience as a blind woman to influence the direction and ensure the accessibility for others to access these materials. Accessibility is something I will never stop fighting to bring about in both physical and digital spaces.

But I wonder at times if the Lord is leading me in a different direction. When I write about accessibility, blindness and other disability-related concepts, I don’t find myself as fulfilled as I once did. I feel strongly about these issues–guide dog access, Braille literacy, etc–but I’ve lost my drive to fight like I used to. Do I push through for the sake of the importance of these conversations, or am I meant to move forward to something else?

Path Two: The Christian Advocate

Since beginning to attend a class through my church earlier this year which teaches apologetics–the study of why we believe what we believe as Christians–a fire has been ignited in my heart. But it’s one that I’ve kept close and only shared with a handful of friends and family. I’m still learning, processing and figuring out how I want to use this newfound passion the Lord has given to me.

The obvious answer is to write. But therein lies my indecision: should I write books? Continue blogging or start a new blog dedicated to Christian apologetics? Do I continue publishing articles from a Christian perspective that intertwine with disability advocacy?

I don’t feel as though I’m prepared enough to venture into writing about apologetics full-time; there’s much more learning to be had before that could happen. But the idea draws me like a moth to a flame. It fills me up, drives me forward, gives me something to research, to learn, to fight for, and ultimately, the Lord and His Word is something I would die for. I wouldn’t die for accessibility. Is this the path He’s leading me to walk down?


I feel torn. On one hand, I feel that I have a duty as a disabled woman to be an advocate for accessibility and equality, and I don’t believe there is any harm in continuing that work. Yet, the necessity of sharing God’s Word and His amazing gift of salvation with others is of the greatest importance and something I can’t shake. Can I do both faith and accessibility, or do I have to choose? How do I prioritize my time, my writing, and the projects I choose to take on?

There are many questions I have yet to answer. I don’t know what it will look like when I do; perhaps similar, perhaps extremely different. I don’t know which path the Lord would have me follow, and at this moment, I’m not sure if He’s leading me to a particular path or standing with me and letting me choose. But I know full well that He’ll walk with me no matter which path I take.

Time and prayer will tell.

For now, please reach out via my contact form and let’s stay in touch, no matter what comes next. Thank you for reading and supporting me along this path, and I hope we’ll stay connected on the next one.

2 Comments

  1. Rhianna, I feel this deeply! I wish I had a clear-cut answer for you, but all I can say is that a writing life is a long (and complicated one) and I hope there’s time and energy for all you care to devote your creativity to. For my day job, I am a development writer for higher ed. and health systems. My first love in the writing world was fiction–and I earned an MFA in fiction and wrote my first (unpublished) novel in that program. In more recent years, I’ve started writing more about my experiences as a Catholic woman and a mother–those take the form of essays and poems. Do I feel a bit split? Yes. But I also think all the different kinds of writing–and different passions–inform and improve one another. I would certainly say you’re doing the right thing to pray–and see if there’s a way to combine your writing passions.

    1. Thank you, Rebecca. That’s a good perspective for me to keep in mind, and lots to think/pray about. Thanks for sharing some of your writing journey, as well. Where can I find your essays? I’d love to read what you write. 🙂

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